Official trash blog, Enjoy

Woooo, since yesterday I feel great...well, that might change since...i'm wierd. But (!!) I found a way not to be depressed all the time. So I can focus on growing myself as a human (duh) being....what did I do when my parents died? Was I depressed? Cried? Lost my will to live? No. Not for a single moment. (do you even have feelings?! ofc I do...) I do miss them, don't get me wrong. They were me and I was them, but life goes on. So will I. I found a way of forgetting. Let's pretend they are dead. So I don't have to think about what his brithday will be like without me. His Christmas...New Year, whether he is healthy or not. He chose to leave...and after all this time, I think I have to choose to give up. I hope he is content with himself now. I don't doubt it...he was always a little bit of an idiot. I hope it's okay to forget all his small flaws that I've been keeping to myself, not to forget.That he hates mushrooms or tomatoes. Adores squid (ble, i ...

I like rain. Rain washes away every thought I have and just let's me see all my tears as if nature was in sync with me. I was bathing in my tears yesterday.  They say say either sleep nothing when you are upset or waay too much. Sleeping too much is on for me now. I have no motivation to get out of bed, so I just sleep away the morning, the afternoon...the evening...so I don't have to get up and do something. I feel so much worse than before. Not even my computer can get me out of bed nowadays. That's bad. I can't even touch the only thing that used to keep me alive. Once a week? Maybe that's accurate. I don't feel the need to go and do something. I am the worst. I wonder what's up now...or is it just my life to be sad now? I am going crazy I swear to God.

Another english post...because I feel like it. Had to wait a few days....or a week(?!) before feeling like writing this out. I needed some time to think this through. July, 17- (a month into being 21 woo) and I can't sleep. Listening to Goblin soundtrack-Hush....maaaaan, that drama is life! But this is not a totally sad post now i guess. It's getting easier to get used to being on my own, after being let down by yet another man. I guess I am just not lucky with this "LOVE" thingy. Now after all that it's easier and not at the same time. Lemme just ...yeah, so. After my break up, I was lost. Like feeling absolutely shit about being around myself-so I wanted to fix that, in-game. I wanted to show him, he wasn't that important so I could play my fav game even without him. This is when I met my Will. Dunno, I guess his voice was what got to me. I have something for voices I guess. But the most important thing...it was different, so I thought it would be dif...