Ashes of Eden

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I like rain. Rain washes away every thought I have and just let's me see all my tears as if nature was in sync with me. I was bathing in my tears yesterday. 
They say say either sleep nothing when you are upset or waay too much. Sleeping too much is on for me now. I have no motivation to get out of bed, so I just sleep away the morning, the afternoon...the evening...so I don't have to get up and do something. I feel so much worse than before. Not even my computer can get me out of bed nowadays. That's bad. I can't even touch the only thing that used to keep me alive. Once a week? Maybe that's accurate. I don't feel the need to go and do something.

I am the worst. I wonder what's up now...or is it just my life to be sad now?
I am going crazy I swear to God.

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-eeeee- fail.

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Another english post...because I feel like it. Had to wait a few days....or a week(?!) before feeling like writing this out. I needed some time to think this through. July, 17- (a month into being 21 woo) and I can't sleep. Listening to Goblin soundtrack-Hush....maaaaan, that drama is life! But this is not a totally sad post now i guess. It's getting easier to get used to being on my own, after being let down by yet another man. I guess I am just not lucky with this "LOVE" thingy. Now after all that it's easier and not at the same time. Lemme just ...yeah, so. After my break up, I was lost. Like feeling absolutely shit about being around myself-so I wanted to fix that, in-game. I wanted to show him, he wasn't that important so I could play my fav game even without him. This is when I met my Will. Dunno, I guess his voice was what got to me. I have something for voices I guess. But the most important thing...it was different, so I thought it would be dif...
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woah...

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First of all... Emergency Couple This is a must see romantic thingy. Second of all...why tf am I watching romantic shit when I am alone af.... Yeah, good questions. BUT AAAAHHWWWW I am melting for real (go Doc <3) ....actually I finished it. And a few other. I seriously have an issue here.... ALso...my heart is feeling better---in 8 months for the first time. Maybe it's the medicine or just that I am accepting what I was fighting against, but there was always a ...little aching. A dull pain that I so got used to that I didn't even notice if it was gone. There are more times when it's there than it's not. But it's getting better. So I guess all is good. ---- Wooah pancakes are really my thing...specially when you eat it for main and desert as well....there is a cool place that I officially love now. WE went there with the family and it was sooo guuud. Wow 10/10! ----- November....I wonder if I should go back to England or not. I don't want to sta...
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