Official trash blog, Enjoy

Wohoo, megint itthon. Na jah. Hát érdekes hazajönni, mert végre megkaptam a lehetőséget hogy éljem az álmom...Anglia, királynő meg a tea (jó, utálom a teájukat, az tény...fujj, de most komolyan tejjel??)....aztán az álom véget ért...egyenlőre. Az, hogy kijutottam, lehet hogy leginkább a saját erőmből....de mégis valaki másért mentem ki. Így viszont már nincs értelme kint szenvednem. Semmi pénzem nem maradt a hétvégére amikor kint voltam, és így ez nem élet. Oké, vezetni tanultam, ....és el is ment a heti fizum. Szóval, hazajöttem. Viszont ennek itt nincs vége...az álmom, nem változott. Vissza fogok menni, de az akkor már ÉRTEM lesz. és nem miatta. Elégettem a dolgokat amik hozzá kötöttek. Soha nem is kaptam tőle semmi olyat, amit szívből adott volna. Szerintem. Volt tőle két pólóm (meg az amit én terveztem kettőnknek), egy plüss pingvin...és ezeket soha nem magától adta. Egy Star Wars bögre...amit földhöz vágtam. DE jól esett!! Nem bántam meg hogy nem tartottam meg. Nem akarok rá e...

Tuturututuuuu I am officially in Crazy Town....mm...let me explain. I QUIT MY JOB!!!  SO basically....I am this Au pair in (insert any town name here) and I just had a moment of "I am done with this shit" like I usually do. Like twice a week. So I quit. And now I have no job. Yup. Things are very awkward here, but I feel If i don't feel happy with my terms I shouldn't stay just so I can please people. I felt like this for a long time, sometimes more, sometimes less...but it was like I was the fool here. I certainly wasn't doing the job I was contracted to do. And I felt like it doesn't really matter if I stay or if I don't. So I am going home...Blub. WTF i am doing w my life srsly tho....well, I kinda feel bad. But I know I have to stop looking at what's good for people and start looking at what's good for me. and...this is not good.

Last week, I had a wonderful Wednesday out in the wild....okay, not that wild. I took my day off and ventured into a beautiful castle and garden. If the walk there wasn't an hour long....like, literally I did not have the best walking shoes on, so it felt like eternity....Anyways, It was gorgeous. It was on the coastline (dunno what's with me and coastline castles these days), lovely warm breeze, so everything was perfect. Finally, I thought I could get to wear more girly clothes....but England likes to prove me wrong....It's raining again. :( I am going home soon! I can't wait! Away from this rainy place, back to sunshine and paradise :D I need to think about what and how I will take home...after all, I have to slowly bring everything home from here......I am so clueless :0 Helps plzz XD The most boring thing is packing, when you go on a holiday.....oh, about holidays...I AM GOING TO VENICE this year!!! Before it disappears from the globe, the sinking city of Italy...

Just make it stop, I just want it to stop.

" I'd feel happy just by looking at him. I still hope something would happen. But we really broke up. When can I forget about this and finally move forward?I don't think of him that often anymore and I also feel slightly relieved. But I still think about him deep down inside. But once we've broken up we can never return to the way we were before. I hope one day...I can smile as I think about the happy memories I had with Hana-kun." -Hana-kun to Koisuru Watashi YES! This manga is absolutely amazing <3 For some technical reasons (bruhuhu) I can't watch any anime anymore...BUT I can read manga, so I do exactly that and I found this gemstone. This is about a girl, falling in love with a bad guy, who is not a bad guy at all...but stuff happen. She doesn't get it, but they break up...and she suffers a lot, deciding not to talk about it. Only difference is, here, she gets a happy ending, where the guy realizes why he pushed her away. Deciding to get her back...

Been a while...and a lot happened. I guess I am free??!! Let me explain... This picture here, I shot it Last Saturday(04.03.2017) ...It was my day out around Kent and totally alone. I felt like I needed to run away. So I went for it. I was wondering around the coastline, just enjoying myself and then....I just wanted to go up there. So I did. It was freaking awesome. I mean...high...phew, my poor lungs, I did not think that through back then.... :D I wasn't planning on going up there that day, but by the end of the day I felt this rush...I felt this, restless feeling you know? Probably not....anyways, so I took off and climbed these massive cliffs...open wind, open to public open space wherever you look. Then I had a crazy idea. Yes. Very crazy....Not that much, but still. (no worries, nothing's happened, I am still here writing this thing...) I wanted to jump. Like, crazy, I was drunk from the fresh air rushing into my lungs and I figured...this would be a nice place ...

Yesterday, it was...2 month exactly since the break up....the official...date is a bit later, but everything was over at NYE. Since then I had my ups and downs....and now I am at my downs....I feel terrible. Any time I want to think of myself, I can't.....I.....I miss everything that was us....and I can't think right now...