Ahol kezdodott...part 2

Khm, khm....akkor itt lennek ismet. Hol is tartottam....ja, megvan.

So...I moved, right? That's where I left it....What a terrible mistake it was. I see it now, jokes on me for realizing too late. I mean, back then it all seemed logical, you know...he loved me, I loved him, we wanted to be together. I was in university, and I loved it. The people, the atmosphere and for the first time in my life...I liked going into my lectures. I liked the classes, the teachers....most of them. So I was doing great. Why did I leave then, you  may ask...I had everything, I could have graduated, get a job, then go and be together. Hey, we all make mistakes. I rushed....myself. To grow up. I....I rushed him too, I guess. Probably. It is not clear yet...inside my head.

So, I quit Uni, we looked for an Au pair job for me where he lives. I planned on going there, doing some work, getting enough money to get to Collage there, get qualifications and...start my life. Over. By my choice. Without anyone's help. Because I was alive for other people up until then. If there hadn't been kind and nice people who.....kept me from falling apart, I wouldn't have been there.

And I accepted it until I met him. He changed me. He moved something in me. That something made me do bad things...made me make bad decisions. Everything was like a fairy tale until I moved to the UK in 2016, Sept.

I was naive, okay? I get it. I was prepared for difficulties. That was all I had since I was little. Dragging him in that pit hole? Was not in my plans.

I knew moving my life, basically, is not something that happens from 1 day to another. Takes goddamn long. I was frustrated, sad, mad, even. Confused about the job, but he was there. It made me feel at ease. Like a candy that you get after your visit to the dentist. You go through pain, you get a reward and as a kid it makes it like nothing's bad ever happened that day. Or week. That was him to me. My anchor and my only safe haven. It was like going...home.

I could tell him whatever bothered me, whatever made me sad or frustrated. Talking to him made me feel relieved. What I did not notice was....that he could not do the same.

I mean...I don't think that I was the "never let you talk about your stuff if you want to" kind of girl. I wanted to hear him speak up. To tell me, if there was anything bothering him. Bringing him down. I wanted to be the only support he needed, but ....after a while....after.....after I moved, we changed. 

We both..did.

To be continued